One of the most common concerns expectant mothers have with regard to support during their labor is that their spouse is squeamish. Perhaps he doesn't like the sight of blood or bodily fluids or is just plain uncomfortable with the sights and smells of a hospital. What can you do with a squeamish husband in the labor room?
Is Your Husband Uncomfortable with Labor and Birth?
While we can't blame the husband for his lack of comfort or expect that he needs to just "handle" seeing blood or other body fluids, the bottom line is that if the husband can't be hands-on support as the primary and only labor partner, then there must be a solution that works for everyone,so that the mother is not left alone to fend for herself during labor. Here are ideas that can help a squeamish husband find a role within his comfort level.
Identify Safe Zones or Roles He Can Do to Help During Labor
Discuss ahead of time what situations or locations your husband/partner considers are his "safe zones" so that you can better anticipate when, where and how he will be most comfortable supporting you. Situate the husband's position in a "safe zone" so that he is not forced to see more than what he is comfortable seeing; i.e near the side or top of the bed or behind mom.
Some of the safer tasks that even a squeamish husband can do is wiping mom's forehead, retrieving ice, and massaging her head, neck and shoulders. If your husband or partner is standing for a long period of time, he should keep a chair handy if he feels faint or instead try to do as much support while seated.
Consider Hiring a Doula if Husband is Squeamish
You might want to consider hiring a doula to your team as additional support. The birth doula is trained to provide comfort measures and can do much of the physical tasks that might be harder if the husband is uncomfortable doing them. If your support person is a family member of friend, ask that they take childbirth classes with you and do additional reading so they know what their role should be.
Doulas can also provide one-to-one emotional support during potentially challenging medical situations for squeamish husbands such as placing IV's, urinary catheters, epidurals and during cesarean births. Husbands may even need to excuse themselves from the room during these more challenging procedures.
Labor Partners Need Hydration, Food and Breaks During Labor
Husbands should keep well-hydrated and eat regularly. An empty stomach can increase dizziness and feeling faint. Protein bars, electrolyte drinks and trail mix are a few suggestions of food items to have packed in your hospital bag.
Husbands should take frequent breaks from the labor room especially if they are feeling the first signs of not being 100% well.
Use Aromatherapy to Mask Odors in the Hospital Room
If smells are a problem, use aromatherapy oils in the birthing room to help mask unpleasant aromas. Aromatherapy are not just a comfort to the mother in labor, but essential oils such as lavender is especially relaxing and a drop or two of peppermint oil in a tissue is great for nausea if husbands are feeling squeamish.
Even if your husband only has a comfort level to support you in a safe zone during labor, then be sure that you have all the additional support you need and prepare for the unexpected, while giving your husband permission to occupy a role he is most comfortable with.
Brenda Lane - Brenda Lane is a published author, Lamaze certified childbirth educator, DONA certified birth doula and approved birth doula trainer.
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